The favor of your response is requested ...please choose:

can't - already betrothed
nope - clothes dirty and shabby
unable - no room on the schedule
must decline - too old
no - possibly you've sent this to wrong person
sorry - don't think I'd fit in
hmmmm - interesting idea

I've always wondered if other women said no before Mary said yes. I've also wondered how many fishermen looked at Jesus requesting they leave their boats to follow him, and  instead shook their heads and walked back to their work.

I've wondered if the rich young man who sadly walked away when Jesus told him what was needed in order to enter the Kingdom, ever came back and said he was ready. I've wondered about people standing on the edge of the crowds where Jesus was teaching; those who really wanted to enter into the dialogue but instead remained on the fringe and then went home because they just couldn't picture themselves living a new kind of life.

We adults who have lived a few decades know absolutely that love is dangerous. Love brings new life. New life is wild and untamed. Say yes to love with your heart, and your life is changed.  Bring a new baby into your life - human or Spirit variety - and your carefully constructed routines (of mind and body) will be thrown into disarray.

Disarray.  I know first hand the disarray of love and new life. Recently I began attending daily Mass.  I won't go into the whole long story as to how I actually walked through the door of the little adoration chapel but I can share that if you acquire the habit of having coffee each morning with God, you are making yourself available to all kinds of wild ideas.

My first response to the invitation from God to expand my life with a different (new) experience of love by going to Mass was incredulity 'you have got to be kidding me! I'm perfectly happy with us having coffee each morning as the sun rises.'  To shorten the story here I will just say that if you read the possible responses to an RSVP at the beginning of this post you will know the journey I traveled.  Yep, I know each response personally as I've said each response.

However, I did keep showing up each day for coffee and conversation; sometimes referred to as prayer, and so did the Spirit and love of God.  And I kept being nudged down the road of responding until one morning I said, 'hmmmmmm - might be an interesting experience' and I felt the shell of defenses crack open. This, 'hmmmm' seedling of new life grew silently until one day I got dressed and said, 'okay, I'll give your idea a try.'  Which is my beginning step toward; 'let it be done unto me according to Thy will.'

Turns out that despite my incredulity,misgivings and downright stubbornness of trying to cling to old ideas, the experience of spending thirty minutes each morning in Mass has brought new life to my being in ways I could never have foreseen.  Which of course, is exactly how the gift of love behaves: wild spirals of untamed energy of Life.

I'll close with the words of Madeline L'Engle which I shared in the first Advent post: "This is the season where love blooms bright and wild.  Had Mary been full of reason, there'd have been no room for the child." Letting go of our old ideas and making room for love is what the journey of Advent is all about.

The people of God waited a long, long time for the birth of the Messiah; Advent - the time of awaiting and preparing for the coming - lasted hundreds of years rather than our four weeks.  During those long, long passages of time, people we now call Prophets appeared now and again with words of hope and encouragement that delivered a simple message: God has not forgotten his promise and is with you as you walk in faith.

A favorite of these prophet is Ezekiel and I was thinking of a promises he proclaimed: "I will give you a new heart and put a new Spirit in you: I will removed from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."  Ez:36:26

Well, that's a prophecy that sounds rather extreme: heart of stone becoming heart of flesh!  Yet one reason I love this passage is I have experienced it's promise personally - there was a time in my life when my heart was indeed inflexible with disappointments and resentments, where bitterness and cynicism caused bouts of despair and rage.  I was very unhappy living with a heart that was in part, rigid and hard.

What changed my life was really very simple action.  At one of my lowest points of living I was given the instruction to find some space in my day for stillness and quiet.  Because of a lot of factors, the only regular space I was able to create was to set the alarm for 30 minutes earlier than normal and then sit on the patio in the stillness and quiet of a new day, sipping my coffee and watching as light crept through the darkness of night.

What began as following an instruction twenty-five years ago became a practice that remains the foundation of my spiritual life.  Why do I refer to sipping coffee in the stillness of morning while the sun rises, a spiritual practice? The picture I chose for this post is of water flowing over rocks illustrates the answer to this question: water flowing regularly over hard rock wears away edges and slowly but irrevocably smooths and reforms the rock.

Sitting in my chair as light crept through darkness each morning, the awareness of life as gift slowly took form in my heart.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was putting myself in the position of allowing God's grace to flow around me and through me: slowly but surely, not only did my heart begin to soften, but my eyes began to perceive the day differently: I was being gifted with both eyes of wonder and a heart of flesh.

My mother taught me that a gift has not truly been received until acknowledgment with thank you is given (preferably in the form of handwriting) and I am deeply grateful for this basic lesson of living. As my awareness of life as gift came alive in my eyes and heart, I knew it was necessary to give thanks: 'thank you for today; for the life you have given me; for the people you surround me with; thank you for providing all I need in this day." Those were the words of prayer that sprang from my heart all those decades ago - words I still begin my day saying.

Advent is the season calling us to begin anew as we walk in faith.  Advent reminds us that whether the previous year was difficult with trials and tribulations or a relatively easy span of time, God's grace flows ceaselessly and we have the opportunity to receive love with a new heart each day. God though is not only gracious, God is very polite: it is up to us as to whether or not we will choose to act in a way as to receive the grace of love being offered.

Thinking on new beginnings I am reminded of another prophet of Advent, Isaiah. "Do not consider the former things or consider the things of old.  I am about to do a new thing: now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"   May you have eyes of wonder to perceive new life growing and softening your heart.

Wednesday - second week in Advent

"The glory of God shone round them, and the Spirit of God was upon them."

Those words wandered through my mind and heart very early this morning as I sat on my balcony and gazed  at the sky.  I am at a resort in Sedona for my brother's wedding and being so far away from the light pollution of the city, the glory of multitudes of pinpricks of light shining through deep darkness is astonishing - in fact, my view from the balcony was remarkably similar to this photograph.

The beauty of Sedona is stunning, so unusual are the rock formations striated with all shades of red it is difficult to take in the expansiveness of the beauty. Add the experience of an unpolluted early morning sky where the expanse of both darkness and piercings of light allowed a glimpse of infinity of glory and, to it was not easy to remain completely present. Besides, 5:30 in the morning in the high desert is very cold so I found myself wandering between glory and warm comfort.

It is not easy for we humans to remain long with glory.  Glory is extreme joy - so overwhelming, and generally so unexpected, that our tendency is to retreat as the experience penetrates our shell of normalcy.

I laughed when I realized that scripture backed up my words about how we humans tend to react to God gifting us with glory. I came indoors to write this post and began by looking up where in scripture the words I heard in my mind and heart are located, When I discovered the scripture story they came from I was tickled by the graciousness of God.

The gospel of Luke 2:8 tells us 'there were shepherds in the field keeping watch over their flocks. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of God shone round them and the Spirit of God came upon them.'  Most of us are very familiar with this part of the nativity narrative as we've not only heard it over and over, many of us have dressed as shepherds for the Christmas play and settled the figurines of shepherds with Mary and Joseph in the stable we set up on a table in our home.

I don't know about you, but I've heard this story for so long that if asked to describe the shepherd's role in the story I'd probably say: 'an angel appeared telling of Jesus' birth in Bethlehem and they were so excited they left their flocks and went to see the newly born Christ child.'  My remembered version however leaves out one very important piece of how we humans tend to react to experiencing the glory of God.

"And they were terrified."

Those are the words describing the shepherds experience of the glory of God shining around them in the form of angels.  Terror - the shepherds were frightened by the presence of God.  I love that when read carefully, scripture very much acknowledges human response: in real life we human beings do not tend to enjoy experiences that blindside our preconceived ideas and take us out of our comfort zone of how - we believe - life is supposed to behave.

"How can this be?"  When I began these Advent reflections several days ago I stated my belief that 'how can this be?' is a prayer of faith.  "How can this be?" means I am aware something unusual has happened within my living.  "How can this be?" may keep me present to my experience long enough to hear the next words of the story:

"But the angel said to them, 'do not be afraid.  I bring you news of great joy ...'

Earlier in this post I told you I laughed at the graciousness of God when I discovered the where the words I heard in my heart early this morning came from.  I laughed because driving up here yesterday I was unsure how in the midst of all the wedding activities and being in a strange environment I would manage to find the space and inner quiet I need to write these posts.  Aware of my thoughts, I said to God, 'if you want me to do the post then I'll leave the how up to you.'

God is gracious.  When I awakened a bit after 5 am today I was not entirely believing in God's graciousness as I felt the nudge to leave the warmth of bed and room and go outside where it was 20 degrees. Yet,if I had given in to the temptation to remain comfortable I would not have seen the unusual spectacle of the stars nor would I have heard the words springing unbidden from my mind and heart. If I had remained comfortable I would have missed God's response to my request.

May you be blessed with the awareness of God's graciousness to you and your life today.

Tuesday - second week in Advent

For years and years I taught Sunday School and one of my go-to activities during Advent was to have the children prepare the manger.  I kept a box of cut strips of paper near the door and when each child arrived they knew to take a few of these strips and on to write an act of kindness they had done the previous week on each.

Children take such activities very seriously and as they saw their acts of kindness begin to cover the bottom of the box and slowly add cushioning for the Christ child, they began to think harder and harder about what they could do to increase the 'straw' in the manger.

Each week before we began the lesson we would take a few minutes and share what acts of kindness could be done in the coming week: doing a chore without being asked, being 'nice' to a sibling, helping someone who needed assistance, giving another person a smile, letting someone go ahead of them in line, sharing a snack.  Like all good brainstorming, the more they shared the more ideas came about and each Sunday more pieces of straw were added to the manger.

Kindness is the action of love. Since it's the nature of love to expand and grow, this truth also applies to the actions of love: our awareness of love as a source of living grows in proportion to our ability to share it with others.  The children in my classroom saw this truth become real as the once empty manger gradually filled with the cushioning of small acts of kindness embodied on bits of paper straw.

God sent the long awaited Messiah into the world as a baby born in poor surroundings - an animal's manger in an unused stall - to ordinary people. Many, many people who had been waiting for the Messiah completely missed the truth of his arrival because they were expecting someone royal with the external trappings of power.  Instead of external power and might, they were given instead the greatest power that exists - a human being who lived completely from and with the love of God.

Jesus acknowledged his reason for being sent to live on earth in human form (like each of us) when he said to his disciples, "I give you but one command: love one another as I have loved you."  His disciples heard his words and to the best of their ability learned how, in the imperfect way of we humans, to live as Jesus showed them.  And the world was changed.

How is the world changed by love?  Exactly as the children learned as they provided cushioning in the manger: one act of kindness at a time.

Monday - Second week of Advent

Being hospitable to new life is wondrous AND uncomfortable.  I learned this truth quite personally when carrying three new souls in my body and birthing each into life.  Each pregnancy was an awe-struck awareness that a new Being would come into the world through me, as well as the disconcerting and uncomfortable experiences of morning sickness, ridiculous fatigue, swollen feet and a body stretching and expanding in unbelievable increment as the life within me grew larger and my internal organs were pushed and moved out of the normal places.  The delight of carrying new life was sometimes in serious conflict with the vessel used for it's sustenance and growth.

A spiritual experience of carrying new life is very similar to the experiences of pregnancy: there are times of astonishing wonder as well as periodically feeling terribly uncomfortable and a bit scared of what is happening. The initial delight of discovering that 'God has found favor with you' and granted a glimpse of new life will also cause serious conflict with your older and more familiar ways of living. Balancing delight and conflict - and there is nothing quite like new life and love to make both of those equally real - means discovering ways of sustaining and nurturing the gift we have been given.

When I was pregnant I discovered the sustaining act of deliberately finding times of being present only to the new life growing within me. Sitting or lying very still I would bring my awareness to the life rolling around in my belly: I would feel the kicks and soft swimming motion of the baby.  As I focused on the movements of this life, the wonder and mystery of this astonishing gift within me would fill my consciousness and the discomfort and fears of what was happening in other aspects of my living would fade into the background.

Taking time out of the busyness of ordinary living in order to be present to God is an ancient spiritual practice for it is within quiet and stillness that we are most likely to become aware of the small flutters of the Spirit of God's love.

Love is a gift that asks for response as our response indicates we have received what has been given. Meister Eckhart, a mystic who lived in the 14th century summed up very simply how essential our response to accepting this gift of life is: "if the only prayer you ever pray is 'thank you', that is enough."

Our spiritual journey of Advent includes the wreath with candles and the intention to set aside a bit of time each day to remind ourselves that God is not only present to all of life, God is present to me personally.  The act of lighting the candles (2 this week) and sitting quietly watching the flames flicker and glow is a way to affirm that God's love is indeed real and alive. "Thank you" is a simple and concrete way of affirming this blessing.

Sunday - Second week in Advent

"Holiness is cosmic hospitality."  (Matthew Fox)

Often I write down thoughts of other people from books or articles because they strike me with a whack on the side of my head or a thud into my heart.  As a result of this hobby of scribbling words that confuse me, affirm an idea, whack me or land with a thud, I have hundreds of bits of paper floating around my house. Organizing these bits of paper has been an utter failure but one treasure in my periodic attempts is that I find thoughts I have forgotten and I get whacked or thudded all over again.

Matthew Fox's four little words whacked my head as I wondered, 'how - and why - does hospitality create holiness?' When I am in doubt about meaning, I generally pull out my dictionary and look up words.  I love dictionaries and one reason is because definitions in a dictionary are impervious to culture-babble. I picture the person writing definitions as someone who would respond to 'but I thought it meant', with a dignified sniff saying, "I don't care how you mean it, this is the correct meaning.'

The definition of hospitality offers clarity to Fox's words: hospitality is a friendly and generous reception of guests or strangers. Ah-ha! Mary was receptive to the angel as well as the message of the angel.  Joseph was receptive enough to Mary's story so that he was able to receive his own message within a dream.  Elizabeth was receptive to conceiving new life even though that was thought impossible.  The shepherds left their fields even though shepherds never leave their sheep because they were receptive to carrying a message given by angels. An inn keeper whose inn was full-up was receptive to the idea of sharing an unused stall in his barn despite knowing that offering an animal stall was not up to the standards of an inn keeper.

Each act of receptivity in the Christmas story is about willingness to move out of our status quo and open our mind or heart to strangers: unfamiliar angels, unfamiliar ideas, unfamiliar ideas of who I am and unfamiliar answers to problems.  "Unfamiliar" according to my pal the dictionary is that which we are unaccustomed to: it is not comfortable to our normal way of thinking or behaving ....and is therefore brand new.  New like the baby born into the world that long ago day in Bethlehem.

Today, as we continue to preparing to receive God's love in a new way, we  light the second candle on the wreath.  You might consider the flame as your willingness to entertain strangers; a willingness to open the door of your heart to someone or some idea that is quite unfamiliar to your normal way of thinking and behaving.

Saturday - First week of Advent

I wonder how many angels have come into my life and I've been oblivious to their appearance. Or how often I've vaguely been aware of an unexpected presence but was scared by the message and so like Mary at the beginning of the story, I thought 'how can this be?' and then unlike Mary, I discounted my experience.

The Gospel of Luke tells the story this way: the Angel Gabriel appears to Mary saying, "hail favored one, the Lord is with you."  The story then recounts, "she was troubled at this statement and kept pondering what this might be."  Despite the disruption to her quiet moment of prayer by an angel, Mary kept pondering - she stayed with the experience by considering; thinking reflectively and in this way, became hospitable to a completely unexpected - and slightly scary - experience.

Being hospitable to interruptions of my expectations of what is proper and acceptable to who I am and how I live from that knowledge, is not easy.  I don't know about you but I get a lot of security and comfort from my routines of living, both the external routines: my daily habits moving me through my day as well as my internal routines of thoughts and expectations: what I believe and therefore how I expect myself and life to behave. Major disruptions to either my habits of behaving or my habits of thinking tend to make me cranky.

Crankiness is not a hospitable attitude.  Crankiness makes it really difficult to see angels and even more difficult to hear with one's heart the message of the angel. Becoming aware of my own crankiness at even wonderful disruptions to my preconceived ideas of how life should operate is why today I wonder: how many angels have I missed welcoming to my life?

How often have I brushed away the gift God offered me by a cranky attitude of 'how can this be?'  Not Mary's wondering and reflective 'how can this be?"  No, I confess to being aware that more than once in my life I've been Zechariah and like him, responded to God's unexpected blessing with "oh, that is ridiculous!  What kind of fool do you think I am to believe you are offering new life to me?  Harumph! Go away!"

The story of Jesus coming into the world as Emmanuel - God with us - is a story of unfathomable love: the greatest blessing given to earth and we human earthlings.  Love however by very nature expands life and expansion is disruptive: it breaks into what was and moves the pieces around and out of place.

Every persons life in the Nativity narrative was seriously disrupted and turned upside down, not by disaster and not by tragedy but by love so unexpected and profound that their life changed completely. 

We who hear this story AGAIN this season know the entire plot and ending and so we tend to discount the disruption of life the people who lived it experienced as they said 'yes' and began a story where 'God has found favor' with them - personally - and therefore gave each person new life.

Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth, Zechariah and all the others of this story did not know how the story of their yes would unfold.  And neither do you or I know how a yes to God's unexpected blessing will unfold.  All we can do is as they did: say yes and trust the truth of the closing words of Angel Gabriel, "nothing will be impossible with God."

As you light your candle today you may consider saying: "yes, I am open to angels bringing unexpected blessing and love to my life."