A beckoning star: a light shining in darkness. A Light whose energy tugs at something buried so deeply within my self I had forgotten it's power. No, not entirely true: I had run from it's power; I had exchanged the creative power of "my inmost self" for the comfortable security of the world's power.
Allowing ourselves to be open and willing to be called: beckoned: summoned is one of the themes of the Christmas season; a journey leading to Epiphany. Epiphany, the feast of the Wise Men or Magi who left their kingdoms to follow a star leading them to the stable where Jesus: the Christ child, lay is another of the great stories where the juicy part has been sucked out and most of us only recall the ending. The ending, where the kings present their gifts to the Christ child is lovely, however it is has little significance for our living if we don't dive into the darkness.
Stars shine most brightly in darkness. I was reminded of this truth while in Sedona a couple weeks ago and the light pollution from the city was absent so I experienced darkness with clarity; depth allowing layers of stars to be seen. If I want to be metaphorical here (and I do) I can say that the light pollution in the city which obscures the depth of the light in the night sky, is like the activity-pollution of our living which obscures the 'still small voice' within our being.
The 'still small voice' within whispers even more softly than our conscience; that part of self which we sometimes hear arguing with our ego-self. The 'still small voice' is our Spirit voice; the voice of our being that remembers our original story of living; our purpose for being created and sent to live on earth. Our Spirit voice requires stillness to be heard; no activity, no television, no computer - nothing but being.
I have shared that twenty-five years or so ago I began setting my alarm for thirty minutes before the house awakened in order to sit in stillness on the patio. My goal at the time was to fit into my living thirty minutes of sanity: a time when 'me' was not being called by the demands of children, husband, house and work. The 'me' I was desiring a relationship with had nothing to do with God, I was desiring to experience the me who loved to think and to read and write.
I did in fact discover and renew a relationship with that 'me', but as the relationship deepened sipping coffee in silence as a new day was born and eventually beginning again to write in a journal, I also glimmered a Living Presence that was much larger that 'me.' This Living Presence was deeply personal; the God who lived within the gifts of me; the God who had created me and desired to be in relationship. The God who had beckoned me onto the patio during a time I was experiencing a darkness of despair in my living: the God I came to experience as a beckoning Light.
No one is exactly sure how long the Magi's journey took as they followed the star; the beckoning Light high in the darkness of sky .Story tells us they came from the East and therefore it is assumed it took a long time; months or maybe years. From my vantage point of being sixty years of age, this 'long journey' they made is one of the grand hopes we are blessed with for within it I hear that life unfolds mysteriously and over sometimes long stretches of our living. Our job is to make ourselves available to being present to the unfolding.
In the nativity narrative we are reminded that each of us has a means of being present to this mysterious unfolding. We are also reminded that when we are truly present to The Mystery, we humans will be frightened or terrified. Four times the Gospels telling the stories of the unfolding of conception, carrying, birthing and announcing of New Life the persons involved are told some form of 'do not be afraid.' I have always been grateful for these words of kindness and understanding for without them I would have long ago given up my early morning time and remained snuggled in my comfortable cocoon: my living only partially awake to the fullness of life.
I have learned that I need to deliberately removed myself from my cocoon in order to be present and still to hearing the kind assurance of God: 'do not be afraid, I have found favor with you.' And so I have taken to heart what Mary taught us: to treasure up the blessings of each day and to ponder upon them in gratitude. Without regular, hopefully daily, times of stillness it is virtually impossible to respond to the beckoning light tugging and releasing the creative power of God within. Why do we become frightened? Because the shell of your ego-self will crack open in order for the dormant life to grow it's life toward the Light: cracking open may feel rather uncomfortable and so we need to regularly drink the Good News watering our seed of self.
The Good News in all of this? God is lovingly gracious and always present if we simply make the effort of being available and remaining available. The other Good News? We have lots and lots of stories of people who have gone before us showing us the way: each of us is individual and unique, however we are not alone on the journey. Even the Wise Men were three or possibly four or maybe even twelve - no one is quite sure - but the story again tells us that we are not alone on this human/divine journey.
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