"Here - take this."
What is it?
It is new Life.
I can't tell if it's a weed or a flower.
It is new Life.
I'd like to know what it will grow into.
It is Life.  I offer you new Life.
That's what you say, but what is it?
I offer you new Life ...will you accept what I am giving you?"
Well first, I really wish you'd tell me what it is and what it will become;
and how it will affect me and ....
It is new Life ..."

If you reflect on the Nativity narrative, what you may see is that the core plot of the story is the concept of receiving new life.  In some ways that seems obvious since Christmas is the celebration of birth, however, in order to birth new life each person had to say yes to receiving New Life that made no sense.

Mary, a virgin, was asked to say yes to conceiving from the Holy Spirit.  Joseph was asked to say yes to a story that interrupted his plans and required a completely new way of perceiving.  Elizabeth was asked to believe new life was growing within her after she had accepted that she was barren.  The Shepherds left their duty and responsibility: their fields and flocks to joyously confirm a message they had not been expecting. Oh, and the Three Kings, we haven't touched on their story yet but they said yes to new life which meant leaving their power, security and comfort in order to bring Mary confirmation of what the Angel had told her.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I wrote in my journal, "it is a very strange experience to feel life growing and blooming within me while at the same time being aware of a great sadness and sorrow.  Joy and sorrow ... life and death ... somehow they are intimately linked."

Because it was my first pregnancy I did not understand the words I wrote.  It took birthing and growing into my role as a mother before I had an inkling as to why I had written them.  Today I understand them well: not only was I growing a new life, I was simultaneously surrendering my old life.  On some very instinctive level, I knew saying yes to new life would entail an ending to a self and way of living that had been comfortable and familiar.

Accepting new life always means dying to an old way of perceiving. Often the longer we live, the more difficult it becomes to say yes: we know that something we are comfortable with will die - most of us would therefore like an outline of what will happen BEFORE saying yes. Faith however, asks for acceptance of the New Life offered.

This truth is poignantly real to me this year.  Much happened in my way of living and like Elizabeth, I accepted what seemed to be a barrenness; an aching loneliness.  I understand the concept of being a virgin for the new life that quietly grew was not result of deliberate planning; it was more like the tiny sprout pictured here that I noticed and then began to nurture: not knowing what kind of seed it came from. Like Joseph, in order to accept the story of new life, I surrendered to a new way of perceiving and therefore, my way of living was altered.

Throughout this past year, joy and sorrow have intermingled and entwined themselves into a new image of living.  Honestly, I cannot tell you that I fully see the image being created, nor can I tell you that I fully understand it.  What I can say is that this year I am particularly grateful to hear Mary's story once again with her words, "let it be done unto me according to Thy will."

My hope is that you are able to peer into your living this past year and name the sprouts of new life with gratitude - even if like me, you have no idea of what kind of seed they are growing from or how New Life will alter your living.